Oh my goodness, it has been a long time. Last time I spoke with you, I was an innocent deer eating a candy wrapper on Fuller Road in Ann Arbor. I was on internal medicine, not realizing the youth and innocence I was being stripped of, then I finished it and did a month of Neurology, and now I’m in my last week of Family Med.
Since we spoke, I’ve developed some positivity, some cynicism, a thicker shell, both anger and indifference to grades, and a lot of clinical skills. There is no doubt that M3 year affects you the most in all facets of your life. I’m just hoping to come out of it a skilled medical student with the tools to be a great physician with compassion for her patients.
There have been some really great, sad, funny, awkward, crappy times. These have come from all types of situations: with fellow med students, with patients, with attendings. I’m happy to be almost at winter break still feeling things, whether it be happiness, anger, or grief. I guess I was worried that eventually I wouldn’t feel for patients, but I’ve found that I cry over things still, like a woman grieving over her son, or an old man with a debilitating brain tumor. I’m happy to know I still do this.
I’m also starting to realize the pressure of my opinions of my rotations. Not only must I decide what rotation I am currently enjoying, but I must also discern if I would enjoy it for the rest of my life, and make sure that coincides with my previous dreams and goals of becoming a physician before I entered medical school. Some rotations were easily crossed off, others more difficult. There is also the sad reality that I will miss the specialities that I choose to disregard. For example, while on Neurology, we had patients with psychiatric issues, and I forgot how much I enjoyed taking the life history on a patient like I did on Psych, not just the history of someone’s illness. It made me sad that if I picked a different specialty, I would never get that again.
But alas, this is M3 year, and medicine in general, and life for that matter.
Enough serious talk, back to my serious paper I have to write for Family Medicine. I’ll talk to yall later! I had an AWESOME weekend because my brother just got married, so I’m very excited to show some pictures in my next post! Take care everyone!